Many agree that the decision to divorce is a difficult one, and in some ways quite humbling. It is especially tricky when the couple has been married for many years and there are children involved. In some ways, it may feel like a failure. The emotions are raw and multilayered. Each partner has become vulnerable to this new shift in the relationship and how they respond to those emotions and all of the other changes can vary. Some people become sad and may keep his or her feelings hidden, while others become angry and lash out at everything just to get some emotional relief. Through all of those complex emotions, it can be difficult to make level-headed decisions such as a suitable custody agreement for the children. There is a way to restore a healthy relationship with your spouse and amicably find an appropriate custody arrangement. Couples counseling, like couples counseling in Palatine, IL, can be tailored to suit your specific situation and needs.
The Benefits of Couples Counseling
In going to see a counselor, there is a good chance your relationship will improve. Over time, it is easy to forget what brought a couple together in the first place. In the beginning, the things that draw a couple together can often be what drives them apart in the end. For example, a carefree partner can be fun in the beginning, but as life’s responsibilities begin to pile up it can be frustrating to have a partner whose feet are never on the ground. On the other side, a partner who thinks deeply and is sensitive to his or her environment can be intriguing at first, but then he or she might turn negative and toxic.
The point is, people are complex and relationships have a way of taking many twists and turns. Sometimes those turns are unhealthy and people end up feeling like they have failed themselves or the other person. In pursuing therapy together, the couple is creating a safe place to work through the haze of what is wrong and get to a place where things are positive and they are able to communicate more effectively. A couple’s counselor is a neutral party who may be able to neutralize the negative cycles within the relationship and facilitate a more fulfilling relationship whether that means staying together and working on the marriage or choosing divorce amicably.
A Positive Approach to Child Custody Arrangements
There is no cookie cutter recipe for couples counseling, each relationship is different and therefore, the sessions are tailored for the couple’s needs. In the event that divorce is the best option for the couple, the therapist can help them work through the more difficult details of the divorce, such as custody of the children. In addition, the sessions may help the couple understand the best way to tell the children of the change and how to handle any negative reactions to the news. Ultimately, the counselor is in a position to provide guidance to the couple in how to handle such family matters while helping the couple to manage a positive relationship with each other.
Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into figuring out child custody arrangements throughout the divorce process.